I’m attending a family wedding at the end of April in Michigan. The ceremony is at 1:30 pm and the reception is at 6:30 pm. Can I wear silk pants and a dressy top in a champagne color? Or is that considered white? And does that rule still apply?

Mary

Dear Mary,

I do think that you should avoid wearing an all white or light-colored ensemble to a wedding. It’s the bride’s day to wear white, and you don’t want to be “that person.” But, your outfit, as I understand it, consists of black slacks and a champagne-colored silk top. That combination will be appropriate. Thanks for the question and have fun in Michigan.

Graciously,
Kelly

I sent a gift to a friend from her registry a week before her wedding. Almost a year later I still haven’t received a thank you note. I checked with the online registry to make sure my name and address would have been provided to her and they assured me the gift had been delivered with my information. I must admit I think about it occasionally, especially when I hear from her. Is there some way to politely inquire as to whether she actually received my gift?

Elizabeth
Galveston, TX

Dear Elizabeth,

Great question. You should definitely try to find out what happened, if only for your own peace of mind. Some gentle prodding should do the trick. Try a nice, lighthearted note along the lines of:

I can’t believe you’ve been married a year already. Thinking of your lovely wedding made me wonder about the blender that I sent. Did you receive it? If not, please let me know. I would be so embarrassed if you thought I hadn’t sent a gift!

Brides send out dozens of thank you notes. Chances are yours is the one she inadvertently missed.

Graciously,
Kelly

My nephew is getting married in an afternoon ceremony in July on the Jersey Shore. The reception is at the same venue. What is the right outfit and color to wear. I am plus-sized.

Kasey
Manchester, New Jersey

Dear Kasey,

The easiest way to look good is to feel good. Choose a dress that fits well and plays up your best feature, be it your waist, legs, or decollete. The great news is that black, the most flattering color, is appropriate for most weddings, even in July. The key to a comfortable summer dress is the right material. I would suggest linen, rayon, or lyocell (Tencel), which are all breathable fibers. Tencel, which is the brand name for lyocell, is a relatively new product which is derived from wood pulp cellulose. This fabric is cool, drapes well and resists wrinkles.

Here is one dress idea. I hope this information helps.

Graciously,
Kelly

While it may seem old-fashioned, it really is appropriate to cover your shoulders in a place of worship. Simply bring a wrap or pashmina to use during the ceremony if you do not have a jacket or sweater to match your outfit.

We are attending a destination wedding in Mexico over Thanksgiving weekend. The bride mentioned to me that the attire is “summer cocktail.” Could you give some helpful tips on what exactly summer cocktail means so I can pack correctly for both my husband and myself?

Martha

Austin, TX

Dear Martha,

How fabulous! I would chose a dress that is much like Mexico itself: colorful, sexy, and encourages movement. For your husband, I would suggest a linen suit (no tie) or a button-down shirt of linen or silk with a nice pair of slacks.

Graciously,
Kelly

I was recently invited to an engagement party in another state. It was an Evite invitation for a barbecue engagement celebration. I will be coming from out of town and suspect I will only know the bride and groom. I am unmarried, but I am dating someone. Can I bring a date to the party?

Jenna

Dear Jenna,

Based on the casual nature of the invitation and the party, it is definitely appropriate for you to bring a date. Be sure to respond to the Evite promptly and indicate your “plus one.” This way the bride and groom will know to have enough BBQ for the two of you. Also consider sending the bride a separate e-mail along the lines of:

Thank you for the invitation and congratulations again on your engagement. I am really looking forward to the party. I am driving up with my boyfriend, Nick. I can’t wait for you to meet him!

While engagement gifts are not expected, I would bring a small gift (see below for gift ideas) and a card signed from both of you in this case.

Have fun at the party!

Graciously,
Kelly

My boyfriend invited me to his aunt’s wedding this weekend in Tennessee. It’s an outdoor, late-afternoon wedding. It’s taking place in a tiny town, but it sounds like they’re going all out. What do I wear?

Bridgette
Augusta, Georgia

Dear Bridgette,

For a late-afternoon wedding in October, I would suggest a knee-length dress in a rich color or pattern. Since you will be making the transition from day to night, I would avoid chiffon or other breezy materials as well as pastel colors. If you go sleeveless, remember to bring a jacket or wrap to cover up in church and avoid an evening chill.

Graciously,
Kelly

When you bring a guest to a wedding, you are responsible for their gift as well. If you plan to give a check for $75, double the gift to $150. If you plan to order from the registry, chose a gift with twice the value of an item you would give if attending on your own.

Be realistic when deciding to bring young children to a wedding. If your kids aren’t able to sit through Sunday mass, then they probably won’t enjoy a church service. If your children aren’t accustomed to staying up late, plan to leave the reception after the cake is cute at an evening wedding, or have someone pick them up as it nears bedtime.

How can I tell if my children are invited to the wedding?

Erica
Charlotte, North Carolina

Dear Erica,

If your children are invited to the wedding, the outer or inner envelope of the invitation will read:

Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith
Nicholas and Jennifer

or

Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith and Family

If there is no mention of your children or “family” on the envelope, then you should plan to go as a couple. Remember, many weddings are not suitable or fun for children, so you shouldn’t be offended if yours are not on the guest list.

Graciously,
Kelly